-Robert Browning
Browning sure knows how to make a woman feel like she's the only thing that matters in his world. I know it sounds selfish; but don't we all want to feel like that just once? Like someone loves, respects and desires us with all their heart and soul to the point they would write "“Grow old with me, the best is yet to be.”
Don't lie...you will drop your drawers if a man said that to you!
It frustrates a lot of us that most men don't know how to express their love with the fluid mastery of Robert Browning, but it takes great maturity to realize that in a real loving relationship...he doesn't need to. Loving words make you go "dancing through the daisies" for a short period of time, but loving actions make you want to take up residence in his heart.
I've grown to the point that my satisfaction in a relationship comes not from the fantasy of love; but from the reality of it. Fantasy is flower petals on the floor when you arrive home from work,Reality is the dog fed and bathed already so you don't have to. Fantasy is a fancy dinner at a glamourous restaurant where the whole world can see you...Reality is your man cooking your burger just the way you like it...'cause he knows how you like it. Fantasy is a big wedding...Reality is a strong marriage. Fantasy is buying you the best shoes of the season...Reality is taking you to the best doctor because your breathing doesn't sound right.
Love, based in fantasy is no longer enough at this age. Real Love, based in reality is now the gold standard. And real love is becoming selflessly concerned about your mate's needs as well your own. Real love requires us to become givers instead of just takers.
Love is just a word, a label; real love is unexplainable.
Let's put it like this, when we're little girls we all want the crazy fanciful Cinderella story that ends with the Prince at the ball. But as a grown woman who has been through her share of "frogs"...I'm just glad my man knows how to get me home after the "golden chariot" has turned into a pumpkin and the party is over. I like a limo; but there is no satisfaction like sharing a working metro card with the one you love.
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Fantasy is when a man loves you for you and finds you sexually attractive. Reality is when he uses you for money, d-list fame, and a beard. Right?
ReplyDeleteThe reality of love is that it's a verb, always in action and motion. Your soul will recognize it when there is not division between your heart and your mind.
ReplyDeleteMs. Jones,
ReplyDeleteI am elated that you are happy in your relationship. Every girl deserves to be happy and made to feel special by the man in her life. But, I must say that I am very surprised that you would take this relationship down a very public highway like you did with your last.
Not trying to put a damper on your parade, but only time will tell whether any relationship will stand the test of time. Sometimes we are too busy listening to our own mind and heart instead of listening to a higher power when it comes to men.
I am a true believer that we all have a mate on this planet that was placed here just for us. If I found a guy that I thought was the most wonderful partner ever, I'd keep my joy between he and I and a select few...just in case things don't pan out as expected.
As you know, it is very humbling to have to clean up the mess after having a very public relationship that does not work out.
I have much respect for you and admire your accomplishments. I hope that this is your true life partner.
Utility...
ReplyDeleteYou went farther than I intended. The post is far more general than specific. My girls and I were talking this topic through this week and given all the ups and downs we've all had; I wanted to share what I've learned about love. Trust and believe there will be no "public" disclosures of anything private in my life...ever again. But good looking out!
Star
Hi Star,
ReplyDeleteI truly believe that God is a Matchmaker and we will make the best choices when we consult Him. There is a great book by the late Derek Prince by that name. It's an excellent book that you may enjoy. Blessings!