Star Jones

Star Jones
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Friendship Friday: A Thankful Anniversary

"A woman without really good friends is a sad woman indeed."

That's not just a quote ya'll...that's a statement of fact. Honestly, I don't know what I'd do without my girlfriends. They are there in good times and in bad times. Heck, they've been the cause of most of the good times...and sadly to say; the source of a few of the bad times. But I wouldn't trade them for the world.

In fact, one of them saved my life. I'm not talking about telling me not to go out with some clingy nut job (although I certainly wish they did but that's a whole 'nother story); no I mean stepping in when I needed her most and is probably the reason I'm alive and healthy today.

Six years ago I weighed 300 pounds. I had just turned 41 years old and had gradually gone from this proud full-figured woman (overweight; but I was trying to work it) to this morbidly obese sickly ashamed and depressed shell. I didn't see it because I didn't want to but thank God, six years ago this week, my best friend in the world Janet RollĂ© did. I may have stopped looking for answers, but Janet, who didn’t care if I never spoke to her again for telling me a truth decided to confront me about something she knew would change our friendship forever.

She sat me down and said: “What are we going to do about your weight?“

Damn...there it was. Out there on the table of our friendship. I had no choice but to hear my friend. Now mind you; even though we had been girls for more than 10 years at the time...I was not the easiest person in the world to confront about anything. I always have an argument to counter your point of view and I can find rationale for anything with a little time and Google! I had a lot of friends in my life; but I had so closed myself off from really hearing one else felt comfortable having this particular conversation. She had the audacity to confront me head on and forced me to look at myself.

While it was easy to deny the little voice inside my head, I found it impossible to deny this particular friend. I knew in my heart that her love and respect for me was pure and without personal agenda. So I listened, I cried, I got angry and eventually I took my first step and walked into a doctors office. Those steps led me here...six years to the day that she had that talk with me.

I've told her before; but I never tire of telling her again. I firmly believe that I wouldn't be alive today had it not been for Janet's friendship and unconditional love.

If you have someone in your life who you love like that and they are slowly killing themselves with drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or any other demon that has taken over their lives, in honor of "Friendship Friday," ...sit them down and be a true friend. You may save their life. And if today...someone sits YOU down...listen to them; it may change your life.


  1. Hello Star. You hit it right on the head with this post. I have many loving friends that I hope would do the same thing for me. I want to confront my best friend about the weight of my Godkids, but she always gets mad when anyone tells her stuff even the doctor. We have been friends since the age of 8 and we are now 27. My Godkids are obese at the age of 5 and 6 and I dont want them to get childhood Diabetes, she feeds them like adults. What should I do?

  2. Tani,
    Telling someone about their children is the touchiest subject of them all. You have to go into the conversation with the right attitude. Remember, you're telling your girl something because you love her and the children; not because you "know better." Start it out that way...tell her you don't know all the answers, but you want to help her discover what can be done to keep the children healthy. Go into the talk with love and we'll all be praying she hears it that way.

  3. Thanks a lot, I will try. lol I went out to lunch with them yesterday and they way she lets them eat just blows my mind. I will let you know how it goes.


Your comments are welcome as long as they are in keeping with the spirit of this blog. They must be positive about your life, your community, our nation or our world. They must elevate...not denigrate...and if you criticize me or my position...state your name and email address so I know who you are and can address you directly. My rules. Star