Star Jones

Star Jones
Have you met Miss Jones?

Saturday

My Morning Meditation...GET MOVING!

If you're not happy with the road you're on
...start building a new one!




Ezra 10:4:
Get up, for it is your duty to tell us how to proceed in setting things straight. We are behind you, so be strong and take action.”


Star's Interpretation:  You are either ON the way or IN the way...so either way...time to keep it moving! No one every moved on to the next level by standing still. The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.

Wednesday

Twenty ways to keep it Positively Poppin!

How do I keep it positive?  
There are twenty rules that I have learned to embrace as the only way to live and love:
  1. Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  2. A sharp tongue can cut your own throat.
  3. If you want your dreams to come true, you mustn't oversleep. 
  4. Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important.
  5. The best vitamin for making friends...B1. 
  6. The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
  7. The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge. 
  8. One thing you can give and still keep...is your word. 
  9. You lie the loudest when you lie to yourself. 
  10. If you lack the courage to start, you have already finished. 
  11. One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.
  12. Ideas won't work unless 'You' do.
  13. Your mind is like a parachute...it functions only when open.
  14. The 10 commandments are not a multiple choice. 
  15. The pursuit of happiness is the chase of a lifetime! 
  16. It is never too late to become what you might have been.
  17. Life is too short to wake up with regrets.  So love the people who treat you right.  Forget about the ones who don't.  
  18. Believe everything happens for reason.  
  19. If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands.  If it changes your life, let it.  
  20. Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it would be worth it. 

Tuesday

My Afternoon Affirmation: HOLD ON



Lord knows I've had some rough days...publicly, but I've never even considered suicide. My faith is too strong for that.

No matter how bad it is today..the sun will come up tomorrow. 

God never promised me it would be easy...but he sent me the comforter to lean on in trying times. Amen

To anyone struggling with 
self-doubt
humiliation
anger
fear or 
a crisis of any sort
Just HOLD ON. 


Get through today...tomorrow will take care of itself.

Thursday

Religion, Same Sex Marriage & Equal Protection under the law

Ah...Romans1:20-31.  That passage is the cause of many a fight between those who believe.  I'm a Christian and I believe that the bible is God's word spoken through his prophets.   However, in order to understand and interpret the bible, we must determine what biblical passages are to be taken literally, figuratively and/or symbolically. Greater minds than mine have taught me ways to decipher when to use which interpretation. I am also a lawyer, who values the Constitution of the United States and the Amendments that further define it.  So for me...when you are talking about a marriage based in religious doctrine...that religion has the right to determine what constitutes a "marriage." BUT if we're talking "marriage" based in civil law...then the law must define marriage in a non-discriminatory manner.

It's called Equal Protection.

Churches can define marriage and refuse to sanction same-sex marriage...but once the government determines that special or additional rights and privileges are given to those who are "married," the law requires that marriage be accessible to all.

Oh...and while we pontificate about protecting the traditional "Christian Marriage"...be sure that you are being faithful, supportive, dependable, reliable, financially responsible, non-abusive & providing of security in your "traditional marriage"...'cause the bible says that also.

My Morning Meditation: TRUE MOTIVES

Check Yourself! 
When you step out to do good for someone 
make sure your motives are RIGHT
...and about THEM.

Proverbs 16:2
People may be pure in their own eyes,
      but the Lord examines their motives.

Star's Interpretation:  You really can't judge a person's actions...until you know their motives.  Doing good is great, but it ain't good if it isn't genuine.

Wednesday

My Morning Meditation: BE READY

Be sure you can handle the responsibility that comes 
with the promotion & expansion you want!

Luke 12:48
But someone who does not know, and then does something wrong, will be punished only lightly. When someone has been given much, much will be required in return; and when someone has been entrusted with much, even more will be required.

Star's Interpretation:  We all want to succeed...but God requires MORE of us who he blesses with abundance.  Can you handle the gift?

Sunday

My Morning Meditation: BLESS SOMEONE

"When you have an opportunity to bless someone today
...do so."




Thessalonians 5:14 
Brothers and sisters, we urge you to warn those who are lazy. 
Encourage those who are timid. 
Take tender care of those who are weak. 
Be patient with everyone.






Star's Interpretation:  Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it. When we see a friend going through a tough time, we often don't know what to do or say.  I find that a word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.  

Saturday

My Morning Meditation: FRIENDSHIP

A true friend is with you 
in the good times 
...and with you 
when it's not so good.




Proverbs 17:17

A friend is always loyal,
and a brother is born to help in time of need.


Star's Interpretation:  Friendships are fragile things, and require as much handling as any other fragile and precious thing.  It is only with INTEGRITY & CHARACTER that we preserves old friendships, and procures new.  


Friday

My Morning Meditation: CHOICES

You can not go wrong doing right. 

Proverbs 13:6 
Remember that there are always two choices. 
Two paths to take. One is easy. 
And its ONLY reward...is that IT'S EASY.

Star's Interpretation:  If we are lucky...we all will get to face a crossroad in our life.  But LUCK is a crossroad where preparation and opportunity meet.  Don't be left wondering maybe if you took a left turn instead of a right you could be someone different.

Thursday

My Morning Meditation: Embrace the New

Things are not the same. 
Everything is changing. 
Let go of the past and embrace the new.

Isaiah 43:18-19:
   “But forget all that—
      it is nothing compared to what I am going to do.
   For I am about to do something new.
      See, I have already begun! Do you not see it?
   I will make a pathway through the wilderness.
      I will create rivers in the dry wasteland."

Star's Interpretation: Let it go.  When we know better, we do better, so whatever happened in the past...is just that; IN THE PAST.  You can't change it...but you can learn from it.  “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  If you want something new and good to happen in your life, then stand in the space God has created for you, tell him Thank You for fulfilling his promise and go for yours!

Serves You Right

Stick a fork in him...he's done.

If Mel Gibson knew audio tapes of his abusive violent diatribes existed...he should have written a PREEMPTIVE check to his ex girlfriend in an effort to "plug the leak!" The "dribble" of negative information has made his life the BP of the celebrity set and it is KILLING him. A lot has been made of his use of racially charged language; I'm more outraged by his misogynistic abusive language.  My girl Whoopi says he's not a racist...& since I don't know him...I'll go with her on that. I don't know what fuels his anger, whether he was set up with these conveniently taped conversations with his ex or if the audio tapes were edited.  I do know that I don't want Mel at my dinner party drinking up my liquor...('cause he obviously LIKES his liquor) because he just seems to be an angry mean man.  

I like to think somewhere Robyn, his soon to be ex-wife, is laughing her ass off.  Mel left her after nearly 3 decades and seven children for a woman who helped put him in the proverbial trick bag.  Serves him right.  This should serve as today's lesson for these "high profile" fellas...YOU WILL be put in TRICK BAG when you choose TRICKY chicks.

Wednesday

10 Questions...July, 2010

Fans got questions...I have answers.  


Do u have any projects in the works? We miss you!  
- Well, I just finished my new book that will be published next spring (2011).  It is my first work of fiction and it will be a fun and dishy look inside the world of a daytime talk show.  I'm also developing several new TV and internet projects as both talent & producer for 2011.  It's going to be a good year!

Why did you leave the View? I loved you on there!
I loved being on the show...for the first 8 years. The last year...not so much. In a nut shell...They decided to move in another direction with other hosts and not renew my contract. I didn't like the way they were planning to handle it so I handled it myself...on my own terms.


What are your favorite NYC restaurants for lunch and dinner?
For lunch, I love Le Bilboquet, Le Caprice (Pierre Hotel), Fred's (at Barneys) and The Monkey Bar...
For Dinner...Per Se is my favorite restaurant in the world. Otherwise, anything my significant other is cooking b/c nobody does it better...


What do you think about Ocho's (Chad Ochocinco) show? Only 3 black women!
I don't watch "reality tv" because it is neither real, nor good tv.  Give me re-runs of Law & Order, Grey's Anatomy & The Practice....that's good TV!

Who dead or alive would you love to have dinner with or interview?
The Honorable Justice Thurgood Marshall. He's the reason I'm a lawyer. He personified intelligence, justice & fairness...and he was a black man. 

Have you ever been star struck? 
Oh yeah...three times...The first was when Derek Jeter showed me how to hold a bat and hit a ball...in Yankee stadium. It was a dream come true.  The second time was when I hosted a formal charity event for Barbara Walters and General Colin Powell was my seat mate.  Being ever so the gentleman, he asked me to dance and when he spun me around, I felt like Annette Benning in The American President with Michael Douglas.  And the 3rd was the first time I met former President Bill Clinton. We've become friends now...but the first time was magical.  You meet him and although you are only with him 5-10 minutes...he is so charismatic he makes you feel like you're the only one in the room.

Looking back at your life, what one experience changed your outlook the most?
Gaining and losing weight in front of the whole world...and having everyone "weigh" in on my decision to save my own life.  It took years of therapy to come to grips with all the emotions, forgive myself and embrace the new me with NO regrets.

Did you know you have a huge gay following? My friend just said he "read" someone like he was Star Jones!
Oh yeah!  I once interviewed Elton Jon & he said "inside the heart of every gay may is a black woman screaming to get out!"



Why did u choose AKA (Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc.) over the other greek letter organizations?
An AKA is what a Delta isn't. What a Zeta couldn’t. What a SGRho wishes. What Qs likes, What Kappas love& What Alpha's can’t get enough of!  I'm sorry...I just became 18 all over again! Skee Wee Sorors.   Seriously, Alpha Kappa Alpha taught me confidence & commitment...life lessons that I have used for over 30 years now.

Of all your various accomplishments, which are you the most proud of?
I'm proudest of my law degree (because I earned it...and no one can take it away from me)...it's the ultimate trump card: EDUCATION!



And a bonus question...Would go on "The View" to promote your book when It comes out next spring?
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Gotta give the tabloids something to speculate on for the next 9 months! Why take all the fun out of it.




Monday

Afternoon Affirmation: KICK EVIL OUT!

"Give the devil no place in your life 
...and he will leave you alone." 

James 4:7 
So humble yourselves before God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 

Star's Interpretation:  Evil people can't visit YOUR house if YOU don't provide them a seat at YOUR table. We all have to start by telling messy people to take their mess somewhere else! If you can't bless me with your positive, happy, intelligent, thoughtful presence in my life...then I'm sorry...but you need to go. When you can look someone in the face & confidently say those words...you've broken the cycle of victimhood. Get ready for your victory!

Tuesday

My Morning Meditation: Responsibility

Whether we like it or not we have a responsibility to one another.

Galatians 6:3 
If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.

Star's Interpretation:
It can be tiring having to deal with trifling folk...'cause they can suck you dry like a vampire looking for blood.. But think about it..Water seeks it's own level. So bringing someone else up elevates you also. But please come correct & have your stuff together. People want to see that YOU'RE doing all YOU can before they jump in to help.

Sunday

MY Morning Meditation...REST

Do yourself a favor. 

Relax, take time to rest and refresh yourself.  





Genesis 2:2:
And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made.


Star's Interpretation:  After a week of work, toil and stress you need to stop, rest and feel good about what you've achieved.  Sleep in, take a long bath, let your mind wander and think good refreshing thoughts.  It will do wonders for your spirit and your mood.  A cheerful frame of mind, reinforced by relaxation... is the medicine that puts all toxicity, fear and doubt on the run.  Lesson from the Roman poet Ovid:  “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.”

Saturday

MY Morning Meditation...LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS

Your friends appreciate it when you just listen. 

James 1:19
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: 
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, 
and slow to get angry. 

Star's Interpretation:  Listening has become a lost skill.  Notice that the friends who listen to us are the ones we tend to move toward.  A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end you may disagree but at the very least you should know exactly what it is you're disagreeing with. When a friend receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits grow and our world expands.   Remember that it is the province of knowledge to speak but it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.  The Lesson:  Listen lest your tongue keep you deaf.

Friday

MY Morning Meditation...CONFIDENCE

Small beginnings can grow into big accomplishments
when you apply yourself.

 Job 8:7
And though you started with little,
      you will end with much.

Star's Interpretation:  It doesn't matter how you start out...what matters is where you end up; and it is a sin to not reach your potential because you are to lazy to try.  The Greek philosopher Plato said:  “Apply yourself for without effort, you cannot be prosperous." An intelligent person is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and still wants to learn more.  Don't let others rain on your parade with their self-doubts.  Let them wallow in their own insecurity...no need for you to co-sign onto their assessment of how far YOU can go.  Never allow your accomplishment to be socially judged by ill defined criteria that relies on another's assessment of how YOU are doing. Remember:  Confidence and perseverance are the keys because the greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall.

Thursday

MY Morning Meditation...HAVE COURAGE

"Get yourself together and be courageous today!"


Psalm 31:24

Be strong and take heart, 
       all you who hope in the LORD.


Star's Interpretation:  The greatest barrier to success is the fear of failure. So the challenge is to have your FAITH surpass your FEAR.  Mental & Spiritual growth comes only to those willing to step out of their comfort zone and step up to their faith potential.  Fear is normal. It reminds us we need God's grace. Courage is just faith-based resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.  Show faith by being bold with your goals & reaching for what others are too scared to go after. Those unsure of their purpose play it safe.  Remember this: A ship is safe in the harbor...but that's not where ships are meant to be!

Wednesday

MY Morning Meditation...SPEAK TRUTH

When people don't want to listen, 
speak the truth anyway. 
Don't say I told you so...being right is enough!



Ezekiel 2:5
And whether they listen or refuse to listen—for remember, they are rebels—at least they will know they have had a prophet among them.



Star's Interpretation:  Doing the right thing because it is right is the magic key to living your life with integrity. You can bend it and twist it... You can misuse and abuse it... But NO ONE can change the Truth; because it is what it is. It does not require many words to speak the truth. You just have to have the courage to say no & the courage to face what the truth brings.  Do the right thing & it will gratify some people & astonish the rest. GOAL: For God to make me an instrument which only truth can speak.

Tuesday

My Morning Meditation...WORK HARD

Do your best work at all times. 
Especially when no one sees you. 
God will reward you. He sees all. 

Matthew 25:23
“The master said, ‘Well done, my good and faithful servant. You have been faithful in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities. Let’s celebrate together!’

Star's Interpretation:  Don't take on a task do a half-assed job & then complain when your result is rejected. Anything worth doing is worth doing it right!  Most successful people aren't born that way. You become successful by establishing the habit of doing things unsuccessful people don't like to do.  And don't expect to always get the praise, the accolades or the acknowledgement.  The highest praise someone can give you is the responsibility to get a thing done. An African Proverb says:  “God makes three requests of his children: Do the best you can, where you are, with what you have, now.”  Do that and your reward will be magnificent as the highest reward for a job well done is not what you GET FOR IT but what you BECOME BY IT.

Monday

My Morning Meditation...LOVE

Love is there when it's good, Love is there when it's bad, 
Love is there when it's right and Love is there when it's wrong. 
Love never fails, it is always there. 

I Corinthians 13:7-8


Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
Prophecy and speaking in unknown tongues and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever!

Star's Interpretation:  This one is simple.  Love is the greatest gift you can give...because it was the greatest gift given to us.  The sacrifice of our Lord was the ultimate act of Love.  What have you given to the one you proclaim to love?  Loving someone is encouraging them to shine instead of begrudging their accomplishments.  You cannot proclaim to love, but be “jealous" because jealousy comes from self-love rather than from true love. Are you patient with, kind to & grateful for the one you love? Or do you find fault, whine and criticize everyday & everything? Find the love in your life and show how happy you ae to have; because a lot of people don't. MESSAGE:  Get on with living and loving. You don't have forever.

Sunday

My Morning Meditation...WALK OUT ON FAITH

Walk out on the Water
...Don't be afraid!


Matthew 14:29-33

"Come," he said.
 Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"  Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?" And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."



Star's Interpretation:  When Christ told Peter to walk out on the water...he wasn't testing him...he was giving him proof...that with faith...you can do anything!  None of us like to fail...but if you've done everything necessary to succeed by preparing...take a chance & try something you didn't think possible.  Look at your life, God has built a bridge to safety over every river, stream and ocean the world presented to you.  If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought. When you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. Deep water shouldn't scare you off from fulfilling your purpose...your faith provides you with the ultimate life jacket.   If you believe his promises...then walk out on the water and take his hand.  He's got you. 

Saturday

Sisterhood Saturday: SHOP TIL YOU DROP!

I'm a huge discount online shopper...and belong to three amazing designer shopping clubs.  For those who are always looking for a bargain...just click on the name for a link to my personal invites to join:

GILT GROUP

Gilt Groupe provides access, by invitation only, to Men’s, Women’s and Children’s coveted fashion and luxury brands at prices up to 70% off retail. Each sale lasts 36 hours and features hand selected styles from a single designer.



IDEELI

ideeli is the first members-only shopping community in the U.S. We offer limited-time sale events that feature the most sought-after brands in fashion, home and beauty -- at up to 80% off. Membership is by invitation only and there is no fee to join.  New brands are featured each day at up to 80% off. All events start at 11AM EST. Sales last 36 hours, or until items are sold out. We also have weekly giveaways. They have a surprise start time and last 7 hours (in most cases). Our members are notified by email, SMS, facebook and twitter each time a new sale starts.



RUE LA LA

Rue La La is... an exclusive, invitation-only online destination where Members discover premier-brand, private sale Boutiques, each open for just a brief window of time. Our focus is a well-edited collection of sought-after offerings from the best brand names in the world - combined with helpful service.  Membership is free. It's also invitation-only.

My Morning Meditation...FEAR NOT

The devil can scheme all he wants but God has got your back. 
Fear not! 


Romans 16:20
The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. 
May the grace of our Lord Jesus be with you.

Star's Interpretation:  Aristotle said “Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil.”  I say FEAR can paralyze you if your FAITH is weak.  It's very easy to claim to "trust God" when things are going well; but faith isn't faith until it's ALL you're holding on to.  Evil is all around us and is manifested in those who lack character...but FAITH is deliberate confidence in the character of GOD whose motives we never have to question. Our fear makes us human, but our faith makes us a child of God. Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing. FAITH is not trying to believe something regardless of the evidence; FAITH is daring something regardless of the consequences.  

Friday

My Morning Meditation...TEMPER TEMPER

  “Temper gets you into trouble. Pride keeps you there.”



Proverbs 14:17:
   Short-tempered people do foolish things,
      and schemers are hated.


Star's Interpretation:    The worse tempered people you meet are be the ones who are only acting a fool because they know they are wrong from the jump! People who have a short fuse scare me because they usually have an exaggerated reaction to ordinary occurrence. If you fly off the handle when faced with a problem...you don't make good decisions and bad decisions can put you in the proverbial trick bag!  A Roman poet wrote:  "one who cannot restrain their anger will wish undone, what their temper and irritation prompted them to do.”  So make it a practice to avoid folk who lead with their MOUTHS instead of their MINDS.  Because as my mother used to say:  "Don't let your mouth get you into trouble that your behind can't get you out of."

Thursday

My Morning Meditation...KEEP WORKING

You are giving your all and it seems no one cares or even notices. 
Keep working it will pay off.

2 Chronicles 15:7:
But as for you, 
be strong and courageous, 
for your work will be rewarded.

Star's Interpretation: When it feels like you're pushing a big boulder up a steep mountain...all by yourself and you can't see the top...keep pushing; GOD HAS YOUR BACK. Pray as though everything depended on God. Work as though everything depended on you.   


“If A equals SUCCESS, then the winning formula is A = X + Y & Z, with X being " HARD WORK," Y being "PERSEVERANCE" & Z being "COMMITMENT." Anything worth having is worth working for because the only place where SUCCESS comes before WORK is in the dictionary.  Work joyfully and peacefully, knowing that right thoughts and right efforts will inevitably bring about right results.  Remember we want to work to BECOME, not to ACQUIRE.

Wednesday

My Morning Meditation...A WASTE

A waste of time is trying to reason with a fool. 


Proverbs 23:9:
Don’t waste your breath on fools,
      for they will despise the wisest advice.

Star's Interpretation:  Amen!  No disrespect...but I really can't tolerate ignorant folk who think they know something...and they really don't.   A wise man strives to know more today than yesterday and wants to be better tomorrow than he is is today.  Smart does not always translate into wise because a lot of smart people say some dumb things.  Lesson:  Just because someone is anointed an "expert" doesn't necessarily make them one. Be discerning who you listen to and base your opinion on.  There are well-dressed foolish ideas, just as there are well-dressed fools.    

Tuesday

My Morning Meditation...HAPPINESS

Success is not the key to happiness. 
Happiness is the key to success. 


Psalm 144:15

Yes, joyful are those who live like this!
      Joyful indeed are those whose God is the Lord.



Star's Interpretation (with some help from my prayer partner):  If you're happy with what you are doing, you will be successful.  The person who is born with a talent which is suppose to be used finds their greatest happiness in using it.  But remember, Happiness does not come wrapped in brightly colored packages as a “gift” given to us by others. Happiness comes when we uncover the gifts that lie within us and begin to use them to please God and bless others. Happiness flows from within. It rises up in life’s greatest tragedies when we choose to smile at what we know to be good and lasting, rather than to cry at what temporarily hurts us. Be the person who causes happiness WHEREVER you go; rather than someone who causes happiness WHENEVER you go!  Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections. 


Happiness is a choice. 

Monday

My Morning Meditation...SEEING CLEARLY

Guard your eyes. 
What you see effects your whole body.

Luke 11:34
“Your eye is a lamp that provides light for your body. 
When your eye is good, your whole body is filled with light. 
But when it is bad, your body is filled with darkness. 

Star's Interpretation:  What we read, watch and see on a daily basis impacts on our mind, body & spirit; so if it doesn't bring you joy...you shouldn't be bringing it in.  A Yiddish proverb says that “the eyes are the mirror of the soul;” and I refuse to allow MY soul to be influenced by YOUR mess.  The goal is to look upon that which is positive, constructive & encouraging rather than negative, critical & harmful. What you SEE influences your present...and will shape your future if you let it.   


“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. 
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.”
 -Marcus Aurelius

Sunday

My Morning Meditation...WINNING

Giving your best effort every-time is winning.

Proverbs 13:4
Lazy people want much but get little,
      but those who work hard will prosper

Star's Interpretation:  You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction.  Every accomplishment starts with the decision to try.   We may have no control over the outcome...but we have total control over the effort we put in.  Your greatest triumph may not come from winning. Sometimes you thrive the most when at first you lose. When you go through adversity and decide not to surrender...that is the win. 

Saturday

Sisterhood Saturday: THE SISTERHOOD OF CHEATING

Why do women sleep with married men?

I read a great article in "Associated Content" the other day who pointed out that in the movies, the other woman is typically depicted as a young, delusional being who just fell in love with the wrong person. The married man, of course, is the user. He's the great deceiver who disregards his marital vows in the effort to fulfill his deep, sexual lust. Right?

Although these stereotypes are popular, the truth is that the other woman may have a variety of agendas fueling her behavior. Depending on her age, social class and marital status, she might be carousing with another woman's man for several reasons other than love. According to the article, below are the top five.

#1 The sex is hot. Just like a lot of men, many women crave sex. As a result, when some women meet a man that they have an undeniable sexual attraction to, they rush forward and pounce. Although it's not always admitted to, this is one reason why some women just can't let a married man go. They love the sex and, as a result, refuse to end the relationship.

#2 She doesn't think it's hurting anyone. Have you ever heard the saying 'what you don't know won't hurt you?' This is a statement that some females who play the role of the other woman live by. They feel that as long as nobody knows (especially the wife) what they're doing, it's okay. As a result, this woman will never stop seeing the married man until things blow up.

#3 She loves the money. Some women barter sex for money. This exchange is as old as the bible. As a result, if a man has a lot of cash that he's willing to spend on her, the other woman will go for it without any regret. It's not that she want's to hurt anyone or even be the other woman, she just needs help paying her bills.

#4 She believes all men are dogs. You'd think that a woman who thinks so lowly of all men wouldn't wind up in a dirty affair. However, this idea is wrong. Because she thinks all men are dogs, she expects very little from them - including faithfulness. So it seems natural to her that a married man would cheat since that's what all men do anyway. If you ask her about the wife, nine times out of ten she'll tell you about the number of times she's been cheated on by a man. It's her justification for her actions.

#5 She needs to feel powerful. This point is where I believe Monica Lewinsky falls. Sleeping with the President of the United States probably lifted her self-esteem and made her feel powerful. It's a trap women fall into who like to sleep with high-profile men. They get their energy and life from an accomplished man instead of finding other ways to build themselves up. 

Dr. Michelle Golland (licensed Clinical Psychologist) says that some women sleep with married men because some women just do not understand the bond of true sisterhood, and may have trouble with establishing or sustaining authentic female relationships because it is probably hard to find a nice girlfriend who would support their home-wrecking ways.

Dr. Golland says that such a woman may not have ever gotten enough attention from her father, and craves male attention at all costs. The fact that she can get a married man to stray from his wife may also feed her insecure ego, because she inherently feels in competition with other women. Which, in her twisted logic, means that getting him to stray places her as the winner and the wife as the loser. What she has really done, however, is lose big-time -- she has lost her self-respect.

The mistress probably likes the thrill of the hunt and feels her self-esteem boosted at the thought that a man would risk so much to be with her. She may like the drama and illicit experience too. The mistress also feels comfortable being the victim, because ultimately, at least most of the time, she gets lied to and cheated on herself in the end. She winds up crying alone because her romantic life has been a secret, or she simply doesn't have any friends to cry to. It becomes a sad cycle of false hope fueled by desperation and desire, while being led on by a married man who himself obviously has a host of his own issues and demons he hasn't faced.

The high of being with a married man also extends the illusion of the "Romantic Love" experience for such a woman. She is pursued, desired passionately, and the possibility of an amazing future seems almost available. "Almost" is the key word, because the married man is lying to her in order to keep the emotional and sexual attention coming (no pun intended). But 90% of the time, the cheating man knows that even the illusion of "Romantic Love" is just that -- an illusion. It is mostly hot sex and emotional attention with no strings.

Dr. Golland goes on to say, the woman willing to be a mistress was most probably hurt by a man and has real trust issues. By being the one who is cheated with, she has a false belief that she is in control of things, and that at least she isn't the one being "cheated" on.  This woman will choose to believe that he doesn't "love" his wife and he really wants to be with her, so this false situation seems safer to her than being in an authentic, honest relationship with a man who is actually available. 

Dr. Golland agrees with a lot of experts who say the "mistress" mistakes him wanting her body sexually for love.   But she breaks it down by saying "It is not and will not ever be the same. He may love how you make him feel, and love that you allow him to not focus on the reality of his life, but remember you are not actually in his reality -- you are a part of an illusion." This illusion of his will most likely fade due to age or interest, and he will either move onto another newer and hotter illusion, or he may man up and deal with the problems in his "real" relationship with his wife.

I rarely find an expert who I totally agree with...but Dr. Golland's analysis was so on point...I had to pass it on in its entirety!

"Infidelity does not consist in believing or in disbelieving; 
it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe.”

From me to you...Sister to Sister... a guy can't cheat without a co-conspirator.  We as women have to make up our minds that the "sisterhood of women" is a compelling reason to say no when presented with the opportunity to cheat another woman out of the promise of a faithful marriage. Sisters being true to one another, is part of the religion of sisterhood. 

Bottom line is this:  If a man will cheat with you...he will cheat on you.  Get your own man who will love you, honor you and cherish you in the light and the dark.  

My Morning Meditation...CHARACTER & INTEGRITY

A person with character & integrity 
does not have divided loyalties. 

Proverbs 11:20


The Lord detests people with crooked hearts,
      but he delights in those with integrity.

Star's interpretation:  It is lame to try to talk your way out of what you behaved your way into!  Character and integrity is how we are all judged.  Don't give it away by choosing the popular, fashionable or trendy position rather than the ethical, moral & honorable one.   Einstein said “Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character.”  Character forms the basis of who we are...Integrity shows the world we believe the hype about ourselves.

Friday

My Morning Meditation...ANXIETY



Don't be over anxious to get to tomorrow. 
Live one full day at a time.

Matthew 6:34:

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, 
for tomorrow will bring its own worries. 
Today’s trouble is enough for today.



Star's Interpretation: There is a great difference between worry and concern. A worried person sees a problem, and a concerned person solves a problem.  Tough times come to all.  Winston Churchill once said:  "If you're going through hell...keep going."  Worrying won't get you through it.  Faith will.   When I'm anxious, it can overtake my entire plan of action.  So every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.   Every tomorrow has two handles. We can take hold of it with the handle of anxiety or the handle of faith.  I choose faith in a God who has never left me.   

Thursday

My Morning Meditation...CHOOSE WISELY

We all need to put our own team together. 
Be sure to choose wisely. 

Proverbs 13:20

Walk with the wise and become wise;
      associate with fools and get in trouble.

Star's Interpretation:  You will be judged by the folk you affiliate with.  Associating with the wrong people will bring toxicity and drama to your life.  As the German's say:  “When a dove begins to associate with crows its feathers remain white but its heart grows black.” Water seeks its own level so be honorable yourself if you wish to associate with honorable people.

Wednesday

My Morning Meditation...GET YOUR MIND RIGHT

What you believe about your own potential 
is more important then what anybody else thinks.

Isaiah 50:7:
Because the Sovereign Lord helps me,
      I will not be disgraced.
Therefore, I have set my face like a stone,
      determined to do his will.
And I know that I will not be put to shame.

Star's Interpretation:  I will not allow others to rob me of my blessing by believing them over believing in myself.   People will try to discourage you from succeeding because THEY are don't want to be "left back." I will not allow others to impede my progress.  If you can't hang...keep it moving because I got things to do! I choose to focus on my potential instead of my limitations & my achievements are where my dreams used to be!

Tuesday

My Morning Meditation...CHANGE LANES

When you're on the wrong road 
you can only blame yourself. 
So repent, stop and change lanes.

James 1:13-14 
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed.




Star's Interpretation:  If it is messed up...you've probably messed it up by being disobedient and allowing "self" to be your motivating factor.  But just because you've made mistakes in the past doesn't mean you need to keep on making them.  Nothing frustrates haters more than when you change it up.  Admit you were wrong, figure out what needs to be done to fix it, fix it and do it right the next time. Boo Yow!  “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”    Change is the essence of life. Be wise enough to surrender what you ARE for what you could BECOME.

Monday

My Morning Meditation...BE STILL



There may be fighting or distress all around
...but you be still. 


Exodus 14:14
The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.

Star's Interpretation:  Just because it is raining...doesn't mean you have to get wet.  So when you see a storm gathering...protect yourself by taking shelter.   If you live long enough, there is bound to be some pain, surely as there are storms & falling rain; just believe that the one who holds the storms will bring the sun.  The wise man in the storm prays to God, not for safety from danger, but deliverance from fear.  For "you block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”

Sunday

My Morning Meditation...LOVE

We too often love things 
and use people, 
when we should be using things 
and loving people. 



Romans 12:10:
Love each other with genuine affection, 
and take delight in honoring each other. 

Star's Interpretation:  Love is the universal language.  But LOVE is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.  When you are lucky enough to have someone love you...honor them by loving them for what they do for your heart...not for your lifestyle, bank account or status.  Remember the four questions that show the value of life:
What is sacred? 
Of what is the spirit made? 
What is worth living for?
What is worth dying for? 
The answer to each is the same. Only love.


"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in.”