Confession...
I'm a control freak. I like to be in charge of all aspects of everything that I'm involved in. That works just fine when it comes to keeping up with my finances, seeking to improve my communication skills or planning the perfect vacation; but it sucks when you are involved in an adult relationship.
I believe that it is every woman's secret desire to want someone in their lives that can take the reins of life and just run with them. Every woman I know really does not want to have to think all the time about everything; yet it is very difficult for this woman who is "free, black & grown" to take the back seat. And I know that I'm not alone. We're so used to fending for ourselves and defending ourselves...when we have a man in our life who is strong enough to take that role in our lives...there is fear that we somehow will lose our power. But, I've been getting better.
Recently, someone in the media was rude me...and someone who cares about me...defended me...and I let him. It felt good.
We we're young girls, we all learn to "dance" at some point at some party. We girls usually start off dancing with each other because boys are too goofy to know what they're doing at that age...so we get used to "leading." As we grow up, boys become our dance partners; but as we mature, hopefully men will take their place.
If you have a man who can dance...then let the brother lead. The song you hear just might be the one you need.
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Thanks for this insightful point this morning!
ReplyDeleteHi StarJones,
ReplyDeleteGood post. Found what you said to be so true. My independence (a huge part of my strength) was tested recently when I was posed with a question if I would allow my mate to become the sole provider of our family. I answered as I always do which was no; I wouldn't trust fully allowing someone to care for me. I was then reminded that in a healthy God-fearing relationship, there are no maybes. You have to trust God to provide you with a man who is strong enough to shelter the both of you.
Good blog, Star. I have the same issues of always wanting to be in control when it comes to my life because nobody else knows me better than me. I would have no problem letting the man lead just as long as he's not leading me down the wrong path.
ReplyDeletenow this blog is TOTALLY ME..i have a BIGGG problem letting a male take ANY lead in my life--i think i haveee to be the one to do everything to make all the decisions and it can be a turn off...so this is truly interesting to read...
ReplyDeleteOnce again, your comments are right on point. I was on vacation and attending a wedding last week in Tobago. The discussion came up about factors in a good relationship and how to strengthen your couple. For my next serious relationship, I want the man to take the lead more so that I am encouraging him to be the Godly man I want him to be. I am a Type A personality, no doubt about it. I like to be in control because it assures me things are acutally getting done. Nonetheless, just like you said...its nice to have someone else take charge and all I have to do is be there and be supportive. Speak on my Soror, speak on!
ReplyDeleteNo truer words have ever been said. My hope is that we all will eventually heed those words and cultivate the relationships that we deserve.
ReplyDeleteVery well written!
Good Luck Star Jones, I wish U the best in all of your endeavours I am cyphertek...
ReplyDeleteThank you Ms. Jones for sharing this! It is in sharing that we are our brother's(and sister's)keeper. Congratulations on your evolution! I See You!
ReplyDelete~Angela