Loving YOURSELF enough to be healthy...by ANY means necessary!

I love myself.  I love my brain, my heart, my smile, my candor, my inquisitiveness, my interest in others, my confidence, my ability to forgive and show love.  I love the law.  I love that I know God...and he knows me.  I love that I'm smart, strong, confident, courageous, honest and trustworthy.  I love ME!  This is not a recent revelation; it is a lifelong reality.

But for a long time it was incomplete; for you see...even with all that I loved about myself ...I didn't love myself enough to be a healthy weight.  

I didn't use that famous strength, confidence, honesty and courage in the one area that matters above all:  taking care of my health.

When it came to my weight...I was weak, shy, sneaky, conniving, secretive, ashamed and emotionally cripple.  I defined myself partially through carrying those extra pounds.  I liked being the smart "chubby" girl in the room without having to compete with the vapid "pretty"ones.  I could be "one of the girls" because they never saw me a competition and I could be "one of the boys" because they never saw me as potential.  I thought I had it made...

That was until I found myself unable to sleep through the night, unable to breathe without sounding like I was having an asthma attack, unable to walk without being winded, developing pulmonary and heart issues and on the cusp of diabetes; that I realized I didn't love myself at all.  All those things I loved about me would be gone and forgotten if I died because I was too scared, lazy, undisciplined and proud to get help with the greatest health challenge I had ever faced.  I was morbidly obese and slowly killing myself.  

It wasn't like I didn't know I was overweight.

Sadly, I'm not the only one.  Everyone I know or have talked to over the last six years since I had weight loss surgery and began this journey has said the same thing to me..."It's not like I didn't know I was fat."  300 pounds is pretty hard to hide.  But honestly, it all became real to me when I stopped using words like "heavy" "full-figured" "plus-sized"& "phat" & start saying "obese" "morbidly obese" "unhealthy" and "dying" instead.  

Harsh words for a harsh reality.  I could smile at the world in public...like anyone else; but when you find yourself alone in your bathtub and you're too big to stretch your arm across the tub to adjust the water temperature...no one needs to point out that you are too damn big.  But it took instances like that to make me decide to step out on faith for ME.

As most people now know, after serious consultation with my doctors, I decided to have Gastric Bypass Surgery.  It wasn't the "easy way out."  It was the "necessary way in" for me.  

It is important for me to convey with all sincerity that my path is not necessarily your path to healthy weight loss. Only you and your doctor can design a plan that will work in the long-term for you.  Weight Loss Surgery is a major life altering change and I had great insurance, financial  resources, tremendous support & no obligations other than me. This doesn't make me "special"...just really blessed and I don't for a minute take it for granted.  However, let me say this, having Weight Loss Surgery started me on a healthy path, but changing my lifestyle habits, portion control, exercise and discipline has kept me on that path. Six years after surgery...I have stayed within 5 pounds of my target goal weight for FOUR straight years. It is truly the greatest accomplishment of my life.

When I decided to have Gastric Bypass, I knew I'd take some criticism.  I honestly didn't know it would be as intense as it was...and I didn't help by trying to be slick and telling only what I wanted to tell about what I was going through.  I didn't lie about it...not once...to ANYONE.  I just didn't talk about it in public because, I wasn't ready to talk about it.  No apologies, no further explanations...just straight talk. 

It has taken me years of therapy to get to this point because I was used to evaluating my self worth through the eyes of others, but the day I stopped worrying what others thought about what I did to take care of me...was the day I REALLY got healthy.  So let me put this issue to bed once and for all as bluntly as I can:  I didn't get healthy for YOU...I got healthy for ME...so I talked about it when I could handle it.  I talked about it when I figured it out.  I talked about it when I was no longer afraid that I would go back to my old habits.  I talked about it when I had something to say.

And I'm saying something in "Heart of the City...Dying to Eat in Jackson," a documentary for BET that addresses the obesity epidemic in the African American community.  We as a community are slowly killing ourselves with Diabetes, Heart Disease, Stroke and High Blood Pressure; and the weapon of choice is food.  That is not a slogan...it is a fact.  

The statistics are staggering.  Every single state in the US (except for Colorado) has obesity rates in excess of 20%.  The poorest states have obesity rates of 30% or more and Mississippi has the highest obesity rate in the land at nearly 1/3 of all residents being obese or morbidly obese.  When you isolate the African-American community, in nearly every state we are at a 35-45% obesity rate and some statistics suggest that black women are particularly at risk...in many states, nearly 50% fall into the obese category.  When I saw the obesity trends among children (black girls ages 12-19 are almost at 30%...double the rate of caucasian girls!)  I started to cry...

That's when I decided it was time for me to say something.

I'm one of the few public people in news, entertainment, philanthropy and law who can or will say that I know what it feels like to weigh 300 pounds, to lose more than I now weigh and to maintain that weight loss for significant period of time.  God has given me an amazing public platform to share my thoughts, ideas, opinions, knowledge and expertise. It would be unfair and tremendously selfish of me if I didn't use it for the good of my people and my community.  


There are resources out there.  But the first step starts with loving yourself enough to be healthy...by any means necessary!


My BET "Heart of the City" documentary on Obesity premieres Sunday, November 15th at 10pm/9c on BET.  Click here for a sneak peek.

Note:  All of the highlighted links connect you to further information on this vital topic!


Thank you to the people of Jackson, Mississippi who welcomed me, BET and our cameras into their lives.  Your stories and your struggle with save lives.