Star Jones

Star Jones
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Sisterhood Saturday: Girlfriends...A Reason, a Season or a Lifetime



Girlfriends come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When a woman friend enters your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need that you have expressed, revealed or communicated. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. At the time they come into your life...they may seem like a godsend, and they are! God sent them to be a part of your life for the reason you need them to be.

But here comes a warning, because, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this girlfriend will end up saying or doing something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand and "cancel" them. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, so their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. They were in your life for a reason, that reason is over...and now it is time to move on.

Then there are the girlfriends that come into your life for a SEASON . . . because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. You may meet them on vacation. They may be a chick that one of your friends brings to the club one night. She may be another bridesmaid in the wedding you're participating in. These ladies bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something that you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

Don't try to make these relationships into something they aren't. This fabulous girl isn't your new "best friend"...she's a girl you had a good time with for a limited amount of time. It doesn't mean that the experience you shared wasn't was just a wonderful "period" in your life for a season.

Then there are the LIFETIME girlfriend relationships that teach you lifetime lessons...things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.

This is the girlfriend who doesn't always agree with you...but she always tells you the truth. She doesn't always take your side...but she always has your back. She doesn't always understand your plan, but she always gets your point. You know she is there for your lifetime, because you can't imagine a time in your life when she wasn't.

That's why it is said that love is blind...but friendship is clairvoyant.

This is dedicated to all the girlfriends who have entered my life...for whatever reason, season or lifetime of experiences that we have shared.

I read something similar to this a while ago...and wanted to make it my own, so I enhanced and gave it the "Star Treatment. Thanks to Michelle Ventor for the original inspiration.)


  1. Hi Star. I remember when I first began studying French as a youth and one French teacher explained to us that there was a difference between friends & acquaintances. A friend was that person you invited into your home & you didn't invite everyone into your home.

    Things might have changed now but for me, it's always seemed to be the case. When I'm outside of my home, I expect certain things and some unknown ones but home is my retreat, my sanctuary & I don't allow everyone in.

    So far it's worked for me because I still have even my friend from elementary school. As we've gotten older, some of us are separated by distance, busy work schedules, or busy families, but our time together (even if it's just by phone) is quality. I also know if I ever needed them at any given moment, they would be there.

    This has been one of my greatest blessings and I thank God each day for the gift of my friends/extended family. I'm thankful for the gift of discernment as well because I've lived 41 years and have never had the stories about a friend stabbing me in the back.

    My favorite saying comes from Maya Angelou: People show you who they are, it's your job to believe it the first time. I don't believe everyone that comes into my life was meant to be my friend.

    Thank you for your positivity. Your light shines bright!

  2. Thanks Star. This ws a much needed post.

  3. Star,

    This reminds me of one of those email forwards I received a few years back. The message is so true. I think it is the wisdom that comes with age and experience that allows one to embrace this message fully. It is hard to let people go regardless of one's relationship to them. However, wisdom allows one to take the "glass half full" view and that the purpose of the"reason" and/or "season" relationship has been realized and that the blessing(s) have been bestowed. The "lifetime" relationship(s) will give blessings/lessons over and over again and we need to be open to receiving them.

    No matter what type of relationship/friendship, let's all be grateful for what we're given and what we can give.

    Thank you for sharing,
    Kameka aka @KamekaD


Your comments are welcome as long as they are in keeping with the spirit of this blog. They must be positive about your life, your community, our nation or our world. They must elevate...not denigrate...and if you criticize me or my position...state your name and email address so I know who you are and can address you directly. My rules. Star